I apologize for not posting so often. There have been a number of things that have been weighing on my soul, and I have not known how to express them. Most of them revolving around marriage and just what that means to the believer. Part of it has to do with a friend who is going through a nasty divorce. The other part has to do with the general attitude toward marriage in our society and in the church. Like I said it weighs on my heart like nothing I have ever felt before. It is almost like Yeshua is letting me feel just a small portion of His pain.
From my friend’s situation I am coming to a greater understanding of what it means to love your wife sacrificially. Just what does it mean when Paul writes that we are to love our wives like Christ loves the church? I cannot help but believe that it means we are to cherish her, and to give our life for her. I am not just talking about being willing to die in her place but to give up our selfish pride and show her our love in a way that she will never doubt our commitment to her. Love in marriage is a commitment beyond any other we will make. I am not talking about being whipped or not being a man, but that part of being a man is the willingness to be selfless for our wives.
Other things such as the marriage debate running on several blogs just has me shaking my head. On one hand we have the marriage mandaters who have boiled down the marriage crisis to failed leadership on the part of men and that if a man chooses not to get married then he is committing a sin against both G_d and womankind. On the other hand we have those who refuse to get married because they feel that the laws in our nation are so lopsided that if something were to happen in their marriage then they will be the ones holding the shaft. The thing that I see is that each group wants to get married on their OWN terms. Ultimately I see this as simply fear, women fear submitting to the authority G_d has given to the husband and men fear committing because they may loose all they have. It is all fear, yet as believers we are not given to a spirit of fear but one of faith and love. True love involves sacrifice by both parties. A commitment to love and sacrifice for each other even when things are not so good. It seems that our churches have lost sight of this. We have embraced divorce as inevitable, embraced singleness as a divine gift, and set marriage as a side bar in G_d's plan. Did not G_d say that a man that finds a wife finds a good thing?
While I understand the concerns of those who choose to remain single, I truly believe they are missing out on one of G_d's greatest blessings. I also think that those on the other side of the coin are shooting themselves in the foot by making this some kind of sin not to get married. It is not supported by scripture. If our churches could get back to teaching that marriage is a blessing and a true picture of G_d's relationship with us I truly think that we could overcome this marriage crisis.
So, again I ask what has happened to us?
7 comments:
Don't let it get you down too much, Eaglewood. I doubt the problems that plague marriage will be around in a hundred years. If Vox is right about feminism self-destructing faster than Communism, then we may yet see a return to a patriarchal arrangement within a couple of decades.
Remember in the Old Testament when God said He would punish folks to the third and fourth generations? That wasn't a threat so much as a prediction of what would happen. When a generation screws up, it takes a few generations for all the damage to play out.
Anyway, I'm sorry to hear about your friend. I'll pray for him and y'all.
The person is not a him she is a her. You know her too, but the family has not made things public so I am not at liberty to say what is going on.
It is nice to know that a prophet has such a tender heart. That tells me that there is hope for all of us stuborn old prophets. Paul may have been on to something when he talked about remaining single. I could not do that personally, I would burn with lust. Keep up the fight and keep that heart tender, it is required for those of us with that sometimes annoying gift of prophecy.
I don't really have anything to contribute, beyond the fact that I am pleased, surprised and grateful to G-d that my own marriage has been steadily strengthening - for reasons unknown to me, this is an area in which I've been blessed.
How did we get here? By forgetting that marriage isn't about me but about serving the other person. By forgetting marriage isn't about what I get but what I give about where we go not what my rights are.
By forgetting the needs of the innocent (the children) and promoting our own agenda's regardless of the other parties who are paying the price in our place.
By men not stepping up to love both sincerely and sacrificially and by women not choosing to become the caretakers of their husbands hearts and homes.
In a word. Selfish. Self-absorbed. Self-motivated. Self.
"And yet, I would show you a better way..."
There's a book called "Love and Respect" by Emerson Eggerichs.
It might help in the understanding of said problems.
It's helped me.
It is so sad that a fractured, broken covenant so wounds the children. Such selfishness is a choice and believe you me you can never ever repair the damage. However, the Messiah Himself spoke of our day and said that this is one of the many signs of His return. Divorce is at an all time high and is just one of the many ills of our culture and our world. May He return quickly because we sure are in need of Him.
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