“God seems perfectly willing to let me struggle through my chores, while He sorts out the big picture.
I guess no news is good news, but I feel pretty chewed up. God is my absent father; and I am my children’s absent father.”
I know exactly what you mean especially when I am not paying attention like I know I should. Having a high functioning Aspergers sufferer for a father like my children have has got to be exasperating. I can be right next to them and NOT hear a thing they say because I am engrossed in whatever it is that I am doing at that time. Sometimes G_d can seem that way too. Off doing His own thing and you the child are left standing there wondering if He even hears you. The odd thing is that these times seem to come when I lives are going well. Not extremely well like when you are on top of the mountain, but when you are trudging up the mountain. You are doing well everything looks good but you are tired from the work and wish the mountain top were just a little closer. It is at these times that we tent to focus on what we are doing and not on what He is doing. We all do it quite frankly I am quite guilty of it myself right now.
I have let recent events surrounding my ministry to make me question my effectiveness as a leader for this ministry. I called into question my ability to understand what G_d is asking of me and where He is leading me. It has been a significant stumbling block. As always Birdie is right about these things, It is not always about me. I was too busy focusing and what I had to do to get the ministry going that I forgot one simple fact. IT IS NOT MINE. It is His and I am the conduit He is choosing to use. Who am I to question Him? I got so full of myself and what I was doing and how I was going to get things done that I forgot whom was the one pulling the strings. The whole event just left me in a tailspin that left me going as far as to question the calling of this ministry. The thing is G_d never left my side in this. He has always been there and as Birdie has repeatedly told me sometimes He does things in a way that you just don’t understand. Sometimes the things he does are transparent but usually we don’t see where his hand has moved until long after the event happened. I just noticed I am rambling again and got off topic.
All of this to say the life has mountains and it has valleys. Yet we spend most of our lives somewhere on the journey climbing or descending. Sometimes it is hard to even know which one. G_d told Joshua to be strong and courageous. At the time it was meant for the daunting task set before the Hebrew people. But I think it applies to us today as well in facing the everyday mountains and valleys we face in our lifetimes. So my friend be strong and be courageous, but most of all remember Yeshua is here with us even when our feelings tell us otherwise.
3 comments:
I'm glad you understand, Eaglewood...
I think maybe the problem you are experiencing is that it is very difficult to establish a ministry in the absence of a conventional church infrastructure. IF you were a Southern Baptist, you could potentially get funding, land, training, guidance... at a price. Same deal with any other denomination. Not to mention the following that comes from the brand name.
That I know about, having spent 7 years establishing one brand, only to plow it under. Five years I've worked on my new brand, and it is going strong. But only at the cost of gruesome effort. Lost time with my son and daughter. Frustrating my wife. Ignoring my will to wander and think. I cage myself, just to make a new brand.
Can I just say now that Nate can kiss my butt for that last post? I wonder if he thinks his wife is envious, like his readers, because he gets to do what he wants every day. My wife stays with our kids all day, and though it can be challenging, she assures me it is exactly what she wants to do. But she would not think about gloating about it. She is grateful, not guilty about it. There is only so much ribbing one can take before you either give Aaron your gold for the idol, or you go to find out what happened to Moses.
But anyway, that's just petty. Nate and Aaron are just doing what "alpha dogs" do, and God is just doing what the alpha and omega do, will do, did, done and signed with a sacrifice. And we needed Aaron to keep Moses' hands in the air, lest the Jews should perish and the archetype be destroyed. It takes all kinds.
If I could ask one thing of you, Eaglewood, it is to please comment on what you read here:
http://www.judaismvschristianity.com/heavenorhell.htm
Take your time. I will be patient. This document was a turning point for me, about a year hence. Not that I have any time to think about this stuff these days, but I guess I feel pushed to take it up with you.
What do you hear from Roland? He was a real help too.
Peace to you. And thank you for thinking about me, you, and God.
Luke,
I am currently examining the site you sent me and some of his other writings. I will comment further as I want to read more. I have already caught him in one contradiction in his own theory. He is good at what he does and could convince those who have not studied as long as I have. I can see through the conjecture and misrepresentation on his part. His theology requires that Yeshua's sacrifice and work be diminished to the point of being unnecessary. If this man's writings were to be taken credibly then by his theology there is no need for Yeshua's death or His resurrection. I will write a post with more detail on my thoughts soon.
Acknowledged.
I will await your explanation. Although I would comment that, in his worldview, it appears that Jesus' main role is to judge us and his second role is to teach us. His sacrifice certanly affects both of thes roles in important ways...
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